Our long awaited update:)

One of my new year resolutions is to become more active on here a lot of changes happening for next year so that will be on my to do list..


Over the last 4 mnths Tyler & I went down hill.I took too much on,lessons have been learnt the hard way.With being a mother to 5 kids,4 kids at home and a little boy with Aspergers,a sleeping disorder,low muscle tone,sensory disorder..Not broadcasting my son but painting a clear picture.While i'm not saying it is the worst thing to have,by far it isn't but on the other side it may not be the easiest.Most people will have their own opinions of my son,whether they mean to or not,they think they will know him from what they see or know us as parents from what they also see..or think they can do a better job.Dosent work that way,noone see's the way we parent Tyler nor know's exactly what it is like for Tyler.Unless you have a child with ASD yourself.Is the only way you can understand our lives and our son.


Support is another topic.At the end of the day,you can't reply on anyone nor expect anything from anyone.As there are a very few ppl that will give you the support you need.As i've mentioned before you quickly learn who you can lean on in the times of need.We are all going through our own battles but to think outside of your own box is a special gift.


I have lived in the therapy world for 4 years now and i have lived and breathed Aspergers now for 2 yrs 4 mnths.If your in my situation you'll know how very draining that is.There is constantly homework from therapy,working on new strategies,social stories,visuals and the list goes on.I teach coping skills for now and later on for my child everyday.My child thinks differently and everything is literal,i have to teach my child everything that other children it comes naturally.There isn't enough awareness out there,also alot of parents just take it all for granted as well unintentionally  of course unless this world becomes there's.This week i have had a close friend that received a diagnosis,different to ours.My heart breaks for her,i don't pretend i know how its going to be for her.I do know the grieving and acceptance is hard for any disability.But she is strong and she will get through this.


Over the last 4 mnths,there were obvious changes to Tyler and Myself..Funny how i didn't see the ones with myself.Although the dr and psychologist & LST had seen them earlier on.Mine slowly became worse over time but enough for others to see.Stress and exhaustion  hit me in a big way once Tyler needed to go onto antidepressants,i knew the signs of depression(from battling it alot of my adult years) the exhaustion had brought on my depression.My body so i am told was/is shutting down and needs to recover.Having all physical signs of stress and also a anxiety disorder.I'm dealing with it without meds myself(coz of previous bad experiences and i'm worse off if i was on something) Seeing a psychologist(which is a god sent)The last 4 weeks esp have been very difficult.Going from my body needing 2 sleeps during the day and early nights just to survive.Not being able to take care of the little boys without the constant help of my teenagers,not being able to do anything with my children during the holidays.Having to rely so much on my older kids and husband.How one chore can leave you absolutely exhausted.Having no fitness level,training like an elderly person.No rules nor structure for my ASD child,but i think its been great for him to act like a normal child for a change.Dealing with the aches from depression which can be all over plus your head is the worse,thoughts you cant control and hope if your asleep they'll go away.Some days you cant even deal with your head and you get over everyday feeling the same.Anxiety is awful(,i can relate how Tyler must feel everyday:( anxiety attacks drain you in a big way.I deal with anxiety every day,right not cant deal with alot of things,esp people,lights and noise.Although my progress is,i'm now down to one nap a day and again its a must...its survival.When the tiredness hits and then if you fight it off then the anxiety hits and its hard to get rid of the shaking,hot flashes and a racing heart and I have a little more energy,i'm ok from morning till lunch time but then go down hill afterwards,can now actually stay up little later before the exhaustion hits again.recovery is going to be a slow process.Term 1  2012 is about recovering from the exhaustion and depression.Tyler will have a break from therapists,the kids will take a break from all sports,other than swimming and hubby will take over.


Tyler went down hill faster,heartbreaking.Change and routine are always going to be big.We saw bigger meltdowns and aggression that continue to worsen.To the point we knew he needed help.Anxiety we have always dealt with and has been manageable.So we started him on prozac,he has now been on it for 4 weeks.Only side effect is we think,itchiness(found terrible scratches on him this morning,dosent know how they got there.So dosent remember)These ones are deeper than usual and this is with cut nails as well.Other than that he seems happy and calmer and dosent show aggression unless its something big..Different child right now.Our plan is to work with the psychologist over the next 12 mnths on coping skills and then wean him meds.Im quite excited this year with therapy as Tyler will have hes usual therapists till term 3.Term 4 we will have to go privately and travel.My youngest is also on the waiting list for speech and OT for 2012(5 in march)for assessments and we'll go from there.He has a lisp from sucking hes thumb and isn't positioning hes tounge properly when producing some sounds.I believe he has some of hes own little sensory quirks as most of us do just some more than others.


Goals for 2012- With a child with any disability you need to do things for yourself,otherwise you will get burn out.1 hr at Gym apparently dosent cut it everyday and is about fitness and being healthy.Meeting new people and know that i will get something out of a friendship that i need and works both ways,the give and take.As i do need support i will find this in different ways.Walking group,finding a hobby(photography)doing a 5km run and training for it.Reading, reorganizing my photos and doing digital scrapbooking,Cooking=) Time management to fit it all in lol


Tan Xxx